I had to spend two sleepless nights before I could churn this story out. It was recently reported that three to four cups of coffee a day can help keep liver cancer at bay, or at least reduce it by 44%. I don’t know how that percentage is calculated but I am taking no chances. You see, I love coffee and my late father (bless his soul) passed on with some liver complications over 30 years ago. So if hereditary genetics is anything to go by, then those extra few cups I had over the weekend would certainly ease my mind about inheriting things I don’t want from the family’s genetic treasure. So I stayed up, entertained my heightened memory (coffee is known to have that effect) and pondered about that finding on coffee and cirrhosis.

A fragrant kopitiam Ah-Ko sock-brewed version of coffee

Firstly, I was celebrating what the Singapore Chinese Health Study research concluded- that those few cups of intoxicating black wonder helps delay or hold back liver disease or cancer for Singapore Chinese folks only. The finding was published in the American Journal of Cancer and Causes. Too bad my Chinese pals in Johor Baru cannot benefit from this finding- they are so near yet so far. I realised this from my two trips to the loo at 2am and 4.30am (the diuretic effects of coffee was a natural post celebration party). I never felt so alive as my heart was racing and even skip a few beats as I revelled in that finding and uncovered even more (if the following internet “researcher’s findings” and information can be trusted). It’s not that I’m a frequent fitness-gym lizard, darting around waiting to pounce on the tricep machines and abs-hardeners, but some chemicals in that cuppa does help reduce gym muscle pain. A cup of it one hour before the gym routine helps reduce that strain pain by 48%. Do remember, two cups a day can aid that effect but three or more can hasten the arrival of osteoporosis as it “steals” calcium from the body. I suppose the trick is to avoid exercise routines that may have an impact on bone density- like spending more time and money talking to the hot fitness instructors and signing up for “tai-bo yoga” sessions which you will not attend.

Meanwhile, somewhere at the back of my head, my concerns for my Malaysian friends surface again -I wondered about those Johoreans who have been living and working in Singapore for decades. Does it apply to them, or any well heeled foreign Chinese (those who can afford fine coffee daily) who have called Singapore home all these years. Then I spotted an exclusion clause in that finding that sadly, may apply to them. Having their coffee in those chi-chi coffee joints where they percolate the beans with paper coffee filters automatically disqualify them from the health benefit. The research says these percolators sieve away most of the two most important oils in that concoction that helps contain liver cancer- cafestol and kahweol. A kopitiam Ah-Ko sock-brewed version keeps them all at bay. So holding a foreign passport while sipping coffee at these fine chain coffee joints won’t help. I suggest, instead of asking what is the coffee of the day, try querying “what type of percolator you use ah.”. Then, another internet “fact” splashed cold water on my excitement- that too much cafestrol leads to an increase in cholesterol levels. Oh boy, my borderline fatty liver is not gonna like this.

It is also said that coffee puts women in the mood for sex, especially those who don’t drink too much of it but having high cholesterol, which can come with effects like low libido, is not going to do anyone any favours. Coffee contains caffeine, which makes sense to those who down pain killers with it as it increases the effectiveness. So for the happy hangover clubbers who down pain killers with coffee to rid the headache, it’s no longer a mystery why you are so thirsty in the morning when you drank so much the night before.

Finally, that article says drinking four cups of coffee a day “might lower the risk of diabetes.”. I suppose they mean kopi kosong (even one spoon of sugar each cup can actually help obtain, not contain diabetes). So the moral of today’s story is- I going back to my two cups a day just so I can catch up on my sleep and rest.